


The First Week

by HouseofSannae



Series: Kingdom Hearts Ψ [15]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Additional Tags To Be Added As Chapters Are Posted, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, yeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-25 06:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17115785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HouseofSannae/pseuds/HouseofSannae
Summary: The first seven days of Vanitas's new life confront him with experiences he's never before even considered, and provide him a choice that will shape his life from this point forwards.





	1. The First Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Vanitas falls down some stairs.

            With a gasp, Vanitas jerked awake. Panting, he looked around the room.

            It wasn’t one that he’d seen before, but given the colouring and the design, he was still in the Mysterious Tower. He wasn’t tied up, but that wasn’t surprising considering the relative intelligence of his captors.

            What was surprising was that he wasn’t in a cell, just a normal bedroom the same as Aqua and Ventus’s. He was lying on an actually quite comfortable bed, and a cursory inspection revealed several things in the room that he could easily weaponize. His estimation of their intelligence fell further still.

            He looked at his hand and clenched his fist. Something felt different than it had the last time he’d had a body. The memory of the burning pain he’d endured to come back rose in his mind, and he shivered. It was gone now, but the memory lingered on.

            That wasn’t it, though. Why hadn’t he been able to summon Unversed? He’d concentrated as hard as he could, on his hatred and anger and the fear his pride wouldn’t let him admit he’d been feeling. And nothing had happened. No monsters had arisen out of his shadow.

            “Questions for later,” he murmured, and smiled. He’d missed the sound of his own voice. He tried summoning a Dark Corridor, but a wave of nausea hit him. Still too weak. Figured.

            Carefully, he rose to his feet. He contemplated breaking the lamp for a makeshift weapon, but figured it was easier to rely on stealth. He couldn’t use his Keyblade. Not without a mask, so he wouldn’t have to look at…

            He shook himself. Besides, he needed the shadows the lamp cast to test something. He took a deep breath, and sank into one of the shadows.

            He resurfaced, grinning. He hadn’t been sure that would still work, with a new body. But stealth was looking like the best option.

            He looked over at the door and frowned. He might have to swallow his anxieties and use his Keyblade anyway, just to get the room’s door open. There wasn’t enough room under the door for him to slide through in the shadow, so the only way out was to unlock it.

            He was building up the nerve to summon his Keyblade when he tried the door and found it swung open at his touch.

            “Are you fucking serious?” he asked. “How stupid are these people? Do they not even know how to keep someone prisoner?”

            He stood there for several seconds, dumfounded. “Well, all right then,” he said, shrugging, and walked out the door.

 

 

            To his increasing confusion, he didn’t run into anyone on his way to the Tower’s entrance. It was night, that much was clear from the windows, but he’d been expecting some sort of resistance. But if they were just going to let him leave, well, who was he to turn them down?

            He made it five steps out the front door.

            “And just _where_ do you think _you’re_ going?”

            Vanitas turned around to see Aqua standing behind the door, a grim expression on her face.

            “Leaving. Unless you’re going to stop me?” Vanitas taunted. “This place is about as secure as a cardboard box.”

            “As a matter of fact,” Aqua said, “I am.”

            “Aw, and after all the fun we’ve had?” Vanitas said, pouting. While talking, he was rapidly scouring the area for an escape route. He couldn’t hope to win against Aqua, not without his Keyblade.

            “‘Fun’?” Aqua said, the undercurrent of anger in her voice so noticeable he was surprised she was even bothering trying to sound calm. “Trying to kill my friends and family is _fun_ to you?”

            Vanitas shrugged. “There’s nothing quite like it. So what now, Aqua? Gonna finish the job? Gonna kill me for real this time?” He grinned. “Come on, get your hands dirty. Try going back to being miss prim-and-proper Master after _that_.”

            Aqua’s Keyblade flashed into her hand. “Do you feel _nothing,_ Vanitas? Not one speck of regret for anything you did?”

            Vanitas looked at his fingertips, inspecting for dirt that wasn’t there. “Nope.”

            Aqua’s grip tightened on her Keyblade. “I can’t believe you and Ven used to be the same person.”

            “Neither can I,” Vanitas shot back, mocking. “He’s a fucking weakling. He wouldn’t have lasted a second going through what I did.”

            Aqua laughed, humourlessly. “Oh, go on, this should be good. Tell me all about how you’re a victim of circumstance, how you’ve _suffered_. How you’re really the one being hurt here.”

            Vanitas’s eyes narrowed. “I’m no one’s _victim_ , Aqua. I did what I _had_ to do to _survive_. _Ventus_ wouldn’t have cut it. _I’m_ still here. Regrets? I lived, _bitch_. What do I have to regret?”

            “The death? The destruction? The darkness spread across entire worlds?” Aqua took a step towards him.

            “I. Survived.” Against his better judgement, Vanitas took a step towards her. “Nothing else mattered to me. Nothing else _matters_ to me. I’m still here, and from the fact that _you’re_ alive, my guess is that the Ma – Xehanort _isn’t_. So, if you’ll kindly go fuck yourself–”

            “No, he’s alive.”

            Vanitas froze. “What did you just say?”

            “Xehanort is alive. We’re here because we’re the last thing standing between him and the χ–blade.” There was a smug look on Aqua’s face, but it quickly dimmed as she realized something. “Wait… if you didn’t know he was alive, where were you going?”

            Vanitas, through great force of effort, kept his breathing steady. “Away. If the Mas – if _Xehanort_ is alive, I’m going away. Far away, where I’m not in the line of fire when he kills you all.”

            “I’m not letting you leave,” Aqua said, stepping forwards again.

            “So we’re back to where we were,” Vanitas taunted, stepping close to her. “If you’re gonna make me stay, you’re gonna have to kill me. Can you do that, Aqua? I can’t even summon my Keyblade.” He smiled, mocking her. At this point, they were less than a foot away from each other. “Can you _murder_ in cold blood, be just as _bad_ as I can be?”

            Aqua’s eyes narrowed. “…No,” she said eventually. “I couldn’t do that.”

            “Well, well, w–”

            “Fortunately,” she interrupted, grinning nastily. “I don’t have to.”

            “What are you talking–” Vanitas never finished the sentence.

            The last thing he saw was Aqua’s fist heading straight for his face, and then everything went black.

 

 

            “On the plus side, it doesn’t seem like he wants anything to do with Xehanort.”

            “But he’s not at all remorseful for what he did!”

            “No, but you said it was a matter of survival for him, Aqua, not malice.”

            “Trust me, there was _plenty_ of malice. I… I hate to admit it, but I don’t think I can be trusted to guard him.”

            “Why not? You didn’t kill him.”

            “No… but I wanted to. Badly. I can’t be trusted with this.”

            “I understand. But I still think Sora has a point. He doesn’t like Xehanort any more than we do. What else – who else – would he be concerned about ‘surviving’?”

            “What are you saying?”

            “I’m saying that I think I should talk to him. And that the least we can do… is ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is essentially what this is going to be. Seven nights, seven escape attempts, seven different people that try to convince Van to stay, with various methods.   
> Not much to say about this chapter, the more interesting ones come later. Aqua Does Not Like Vanitas. But, he also Does Not Like her. And after everything he put Aqua through, I think we can forgive her the knockout punch. (Van won't.)  
> As always, feel free to ask any questions you have, and see you tomorrow!


	2. The Second Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Vanitas wants to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by [this](https://kingdomsaurushearts.tumblr.com/post/172920454620/im-having-fun-draws-more-kairi-kicking-vanitas) fanart by [kingdomsaurushearts](https://kingdomsaurushearts.tumblr.com/).

            Vanitas spent the next day in his… room, he supposed, was the best way to describe it, since “cell” just didn’t fit. As far as he could tell, not having a mirror, if Aqua had left him with a black eye, it had been Cure’d away before he’d woken up. Throughout the day, he made no effort to leave the room, figuring that if they wanted him, they’d come get him. If he was a little more self-aware, he’d understand that he was essentially acting like a petulant child, but self-awareness had never really been all that important to him.

            Food had appeared in the room in the morning, afternoon, and evening. Vanitas was a suspicious person by nurture, but free food was free food. Besides, they weren’t the type of people who’d poison him.

            Stab him, maybe. Not poison.

            After dark, Vanitas eased his way out of his room. The door, inconceivably, still hadn’t been locked. It was almost like they _wanted_ him to escape.

            If they were going to kill him and make it look like he died in an escape attempt, Aqua would have done it the previous night. Insofar as there was anyone they had to make it look legitimate to. No, he could say for sure they wanted him alive. _Why_ , he didn’t know. Maybe to pump him for information on the Ma – on Xehanort? Good luck. He didn’t know a damn thing about the old bastard’s plans.

            Lost in thought, he almost missed the person waiting for him as he left the Tower.

            “Nice night for a walk, huh?”

            He froze, and turned around to see the red-haired girl. “I’m Kairi,” she said. “Nice to meet you.”

            He stared at her, confused. “Fuck off.” He turned and started to walk away.

            And there Kairi was, in front of him. “Now that wasn’t polite!” she said, wagging her finger at him.

            “How did you–?” he blurted, despite himself.

            “It’s called ‘Reversal’,” she said, smirking. “Your name is Vanitas, right?”

            “…right…”

            She smiled at him. “Nice to meet you, Vanitas!”

            “What do you _want_?” he demanded.

            “Well, I’ve got a proposal for you,” Kairi said. “Join us.”

            He stared at her. “Excuse me?”

            “Join us. Help us fight Xehanort.”

            There was silence. Then, a small sound came from Vanitas. A high-pitched, almost choking sound, as he laughed, long and hard.

            “You’re _shitting_ me. You’ve got to be _fucking shitting_ me. I can’t help you fight _Xehanort_. I’m not dying with all the rest of you!”

            “What makes you so sure we’re going to die?” Kairi asked,

            Was she serious? “Because it’s _Xehanort_ ,” Vanitas said, slowly, enunciating the fallen master’s name. “You can’t _beat_ him. _I_ can’t beat him. You’re fucked.”

            “Oh, I think you’d be surprised,” she said, smiling. “Come on, take a chance on us. What do you have to lose?”

            “The life I just got back, are you an idiot?” he snapped.

            “There’s no call to be rude,” Kairi said, coldly. “And if you’re so afraid of him, there’s strength in numbers. You’d actually be safer here, with us, than out on your own.”

            He laughed again. “And what would I do here, exactly? I’m pure _darkness_ , remember? I don’t belong in the _light_.”

            “I don’t believe that,” Kairi said. “Nobody is ‘pure’ anything. And even if you are mostly darkness, so what? You’re still a person.”

            He tilted his head, considering this. “Oh, I get it,” he said, smirking.

            “Get what?” Kairi asked, frowning.

            “You want to _redeem_ me. To make me nice, and toothless, just like your boy toys.” He stepped closer to her, and grabbed her chin. “Is that what you want, _Kairi_? Another pretty face to boss around? Just because I look like your precious _Sora_?”

            If he had been a little less dismissive, he might have seen the narrowing of Kairi’s eyes, or the way she didn’t freeze, but stilled, or the slow, steadying breath. As it was, it caught him completely by surprise when she ripped his hand off of her chin and pulled, shifting as she did so.

            Vanitas found himself yanked forwards, over Kairi’s head, and impacted the ground flat on his back. The breath was forced out of his lungs by the impact. Before he could recover his wits, there was a Keyblade pointed at his neck.

            He’d never thought of flowers as being particularly threatening before. Kairi made it work.

            “You know, I’m starting to see where Aqua is coming from,” she said, conversationally. Her eyes were still deathly cold. “That’s not a good thing for you, you understand.”

            Vanitas opened his mouth, and she jabbed him in the throat. “No, I am talking right now,” she said. “You are being silent, and hopefully listening.

            “I get it. I get _you_. You’ll slap aside any hand reached out for you, because in your experience that’s never ended in anything but pain. I don’t blame you. But I do pity you.”

            He jerked forwards, a snarl winding across his face, but she pushed him back down. “Yes, I pity you. Because you need help, Vanitas. _Desperately_. But it’s not the kind of help I can give. Not the kind anyone can give. It’s the kind you have to _ask_ for. You can’t be helped unless you _want_ to be helped. And right now? Seems like you don’t want to be. Or maybe, you just don’t believe anyone will answer if you ask. And there’s nothing I can do or say to convince you otherwise.

            “Because we _would_ help you. _I_ would help you. _Sora_ would help you. Riku, and Lea, and Roxas, and everyone barring Aqua and maybe Ven would try to help you. Because you think you’re still all alone. And you aren’t.

            “But. You will be, if you don’t reach out. That’s entirely on you.” She sighed. “I still can’t let you leave. But there is a place here for you. And as you may have noticed, it’s not in a cell. Think about it tomorrow.”

            “Tomorrow?” he started to ask, but Kairi lifted her Keyblade from his throat and waved it over him. “ _Sleep_.”

            “Oh not a-fucking-gaiiiii….”

 

 

            “Okay I’m not saying we should kill him but I am saying I understand why you want to now.”

            “He’s… a lot.”

            “He’s a massive dick.”

            “Language!”

            “…Really, Aqua?”

            “Sorry, it’s a reflex at this point. So what now, Kairi?”

            “Depends on if I got through to him. Only time will tell and all that. I’m not talking to him again, though.”

            “Really? Then maybe I should, if you two don’t want to.”

            “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

            “Why wouldn’t it be?”

            “Because he’s lashing out at whatever he can, and you’re…”

            “I’m what, Kairi?”

            “She’s just saying that you’re kind of…”

            “Kind of what, Aqua?”

            “…”

            “…”

            “Yeah, yeah, shut up. Look, he’s an angry, hurt teenager lashing out. I do have _some_ experience with that. What’s the worst I could do?”

            “…”

            “…”

            “…Don’t answer that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to believe that Vanitas would live in eternal fear of Kairi, for many reasons.  
> I forgot to mention it last time, but I'm trying to make an effort here to keep Vanitas true to himself, while also dragging him kicking and screaming into joining the good guys, and maybe -gasp- actually becoming a good person. So no, he has no remorse for what he did in Birth by Sleep. To him, his survival was the most important consideration.   
> Fine, I'll stop beating around the bush. I'm trying to talk about what he's been through and how much he's been hurt without woobifying him. And part of that is that he has a good reason to not regret anything he did in canon. There's more to it than that, obviously, you can't have a heel-face turn like this without addressing the shit they've pulled (and I will never claim that Aqua's hatred of him is unjustified) but I'd prefer to let the narrative speak for itself as it comes out in that regard.  
> I will, however, say this. Part of why Ven feels sorry for him is that he believes Van can be more. Van... has never considered this.   
> Yet.  
> Until tomorrow!


	3. The Third Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Vanitas thinks he can do whatever he wants.

            Despite his very best efforts, Vanitas found himself actually contemplating Kairi’s proposal over the course of the next day. It was a bad idea, that much was certain. There was no way they could stand against the Mas – against Xehanort, even with his help. Not that he would be much help without his Keyblade. He’d kill them all, and Vanitas, too.

            Plus, even if they could stand against him, Aqua’s performance and the fact that he himself was still alive indicated that they wouldn’t be able to finish the job. They were too _soft_ , too _light_ , to do the dark deeds that needed to be done to stop the Ma – Xehanort once and for all.

            Was that why they wanted him?

            What was their plan before they knew he was still around, then?

            Pointless questions. He’d be better off getting as far away from the idiot brigade as possible.

            To that end, after nightfall he once again slunk out of the Tower, once again encountering no resistance. If Kairi could be believed, and although he no longer believed her stupid he still didn’t know enough about her to know she was _excellent_ at lying when she wanted to be, he wasn’t actually a prisoner. So, it stood to reason that they would let him go, if he kept trying.

            “You know, they define insanity as trying the exact same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

            Vanitas whirled, but the lazy drawl wasn’t coming from behind him. He spun back around, but still nothing.

            The fresh hell was this? Of course the fucking Tower was fucking magic, could it talk now, too?

            “Over here,” the voice said, and Vanitas turned again to see a man in an orange coat leaning against the wall. He could have sworn he’d looked there just now and seen nothing.

            “How the hell are you so sneaky in a bright orange coat?” he demanded before he could stop himself.

            The man looked down at his jacket and shrugged. “Honestly it’s kind of like putting a bell on a cat. It just made me sneakier.” He stood up from his lean and stretched. “Now, I told you my name earlier. Did you get it memorized?”

            Vanitas shook his head, confused and a little angry. “Why the fuck should I care?”

            “Ouch, now that hurts my _feelings_ ,” the man said, grinning. “I’ll tell you again. Get it memorized. I’m Lea.”

            “Still, somehow, I don’t care.”

            The man’s grin grew wider. “Not surprising. I’m guessing what you’re doing here is trying to leave again?”

            “Wow, I see you’re the brains around here,” Vanitas deadpanned. “And you know what? No, I’m not doing this three nights in a row. Goodbye!” He stretched out his hand, flicked his wrist, and completely failed to make a Dark Corridor.

            “Oh, are you already back? That _was_ fast,” Lea said, smirking. Vanitas ground his teeth together. He was already starting to hate this guy.

            “Look, Vanitas… can I call you Vanitas?” Lea asked, stepping forwards and wrapping a hand around Vanitas’s shoulders.

            “Fuck off.”

            “Vanitas, if you want to use a Dark Corridor to get out of here, you’re gonna have to leave the Tower grounds first. Whole area’s warded, obvious reasons.” Lea started walking, half-dragging Vanitas along with him. “To do that, you wait for this magic train. Now, I know what you’re thinking.”

            “I hope he kills you _slowly_.”

            “No, you’re thinking, ‘Lea, my wonderful new friend, where’s the train?’ Well, see, the train is magic. The old man – that’s Master Yen Sid, in mixed company, also something good to memorize – tends to summon it when we need to go into Twilight Town.” He waved a hand towards a blotch of orange on the skyline in the distance. “That’s Twilight Town. As the name implies, it’s in eternal early evening. You should be able to Dark Corridor from there, and go wherever your dark little heart desires.”

            The train wasn’t there. Vanitas glared at Lea.

            Lea was completely unfazed by the glare. “The train should show up when you approach that little platform. Now, we’re in the Realm Between, if that’s something you need to know. We’re thinking the big to-do with Xehanort will probably be in that Keyblade Graveyard world he’s so fond of, so avoid there if you want to stay out of this.”

            “Why are you helping me?” Vanitas demanded.

            “Helping? Am I… helping you?” Lea said, confusion evident in his voice. “Oh, no, no, no. See, I know Kairi talked to you. You aren’t a prisoner, but… you’re not exactly free to go. Since, y’know, there’s the whole ‘being-Xehanort’s-apprentice’ thing. Can’t be sure you aren’t going to go back to him, and who knows _what_ Aqua blabbed in her sleep.”

            “Why the fuck would I go _back_ to him?!”

            Lea looked at him dead on, and his smile faded into a sneer. “People do funny things when their necks are on the line. Trust me. I’ve been there.”

            Vanitas pulled away from his arm. “Trust _me_. I’m not an _idiot_. I _failed_. There’s nothing you can do to me that he won’t top,” he hissed.

            “Hmm. You know, despite all reasons not to trust you, I think you’re serious. So maybe you aren’t going back to him. But… that’s still a wildcard Keybearer out doing who knows what,” Lea said.

            “So you’re going to stop me from leaving.”

            “Nope.”

            “Okay, you’re a fucking moron, I get it.”

            “Sassy. I hope we do get to keep you,” Lea said, mocking. “No, I’m not going to stop you leaving.”

            “Then why are you even–?”

            “I’m here talking to you to give you a warning,” Lea said. “If you leave now, under these circumstances, I’m going to follow you, I’m going to find you, and I’m going to bring you back. And you can ask Roxas and Xion, I’m deadly serious about that sort of thing. They’re my friends, my best friends. And I hunted each of them down, once upon a time.”

            Vanitas scoffed. “Oh, and what’s the worst you can do? I’ve seen what the _Light_ has to offer, and you’re all soft, weak, and–”

            “I beat Xion half to death,” Lea interrupted flatly. “Only because she decided to fight me instead of coming quietly. And I actually _like_ her.”

            That… clashed with the conclusions Vanitas had drawn. “You’re bluffing,” he said, dismissively. “You’re a Keybearer. A _Light_ Keybearer. You don’t _hurt_ people, you’re too busy being precious goody two-shoes over every little–”

            He was cut off by the sound of whirling flames. Lea was staring at him, a cold, almost emotionless expression on his face as he summoned not his Keyblade, but two large, spiked metal discs.

            “I’ve been a Keybearer for a little less than a year,” he said, quietly. “That’s also about how long I’ve been allied to ‘light’, as you refer to it. I think we’re both practical people, Vanitas, who understand how these things really work.”

            “These things?”

            “War. Xehanort wants another Keyblade War, remember? I think we both know there’s only one way to stop him, permanently. And that’s why I’m here. I lived for ten years as an _assassin_ , Vanitas. Heartless, in every sense of the word. I’d never go back to that. But I remember everything I learned. I can still do everything I mastered; how do you think I snuck up on someone as paranoid as you are?”

            He stepped forwards, and the irritating but friendly person Vanitas had been talking to had receded, leaving behind a cold shell.

            It was the closest Vanitas, or indeed anyone, would ever come to seeing Axel live again.

            “Don’t get me wrong. It’s not personal. But if you leave, I will find you. And I will bring you back. It won’t be pleasant for either of us.”

            “You… you’re _light_ , you can’t…” Vanitas stammered, actually afraid, half his instincts screaming for him to run, the other half screaming just as loudly that running would mean instant death.

            Lea smiled, a hint of his normal warm demeanor showing though. “Oh, Vanitas. And since when was light inherently _good_?”

            Vanitas didn’t have an answer for him. Lea clapped him on the back, banishing the weapons. “So, again, feel free to leave, I’m not gonna stop ya. But if you leave now, on these terms, I’m going after you. So go ahead. Run as far as you want. Because I’ll always be there, to bring you back.”

            “I’m going back to my room,” Vanitas said, sullenly.

            “Hey, not a bad idea,” Lea said, grinning. “Go on ahead, I’m just going to stand here for a while.”

            Vanitas, for the first time under his own power, walked back into the Tower, fuming and a tiny bit terrified. He didn’t stay long enough to notice Lea scrunch his face up and bite his lip. “Welp,” he muttered to himself. “Fucked _that_ one up.”

 

 

            “You fucked up.”

            “No shit, Kairi. I didn’t _plan_ on threatening him, in my defense.”

            “Like that matters! He’s never going to join us now!”

            “I think he understands that Lea isn’t indicative of all of us.”

            “I’m a little insulted, Aqua, but you’re right.”

            “Great. Do you think he’s going to keep trying to leave?”

            “Well, that depends on whether he’s more afraid of Xehanort or me.”

            “…”

            “…”

            “…Alright fine, yeah, he’ll probably be back at it by tomorrow night.”

            “We’re not letting you talk to him again.”

            “Yeah, fair, waving a weapon you aren’t actually going to use kind of makes the threat less and less threatening the more you do it.”

            “In that case, should I talk to him?”

            “Huh?”

            “Why?”

            “Are you sure?”

            “Let me put it this way. Vanitas was brought into being against his will and immediately turned into a weapon to be used by an evil person, regardless of what he actually wanted, all the while being abused by that same person to the extent that now he wants nothing more than to run away from even the notice of said person.”

            “…Yes?”

            “Yeah, accurate.”

            “What’s your point?”

            “Well, we have some things in common.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this might be the most "Axel-like" I've ever written Lea.   
> Some authors will tell you there's a point where, instead of them writing what the character is going to say, the character will be telling _them_ what to write instead. In other words, I hit the main points I wanted to get across, but the specifics (read: references) that I wanted Lea to say went out the window, and had to be given to someone else. I'm pretty happy with what did get on the page, though.   
> Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it, and have a good day to everyone who doesn't.   
> Until next time!


	4. The Fourth Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Vanitas discovers something to be thankful for.

            Well, it had answered his question if nothing else.

            Lea might have been their initial plan for dealing with Xehanort. Or the most likely, at least. He’d like to see the grinning idiot who shared his face kill someone. Like that could happen.

            It was clear that what he’d managed to pick up from Aqua’s mutterings wasn’t enough information. He needed more.

            Fortunately, the days he’d spent ~~sulking~~ recuperating in his room had set a precedent, and if he left the door shut, no one would think to check if he was actually in there. He wasn’t going to try to escape the Tower again, not when _all_ of them were awake, but he would watch, and he would learn. Since he’d failed spectacularly at summoning Unversed and creating Dark Corridors, they had no reason to believe he still had his other powers.

            Thus, Vanitas’s day was spent lurking in shadows, eavesdropping. It was mostly useless drivel, but he was able to catch a few choice nuggets of information about the people he’d never met before – the girls that looked like Kairi, and the not-Ventus.

            There was a small measure of satisfaction that he got from knowing Ventus also had a lookalike now.

            Armed with this new knowledge, as soon as night fell Vanitas once again snuck out of the Tower. The moon seemed brighter tonight than it had previously, but there shouldn’t be any reason why he couldn’t walk to the station to board the train.

            Of course, he knew a pattern when he saw it.

            “Okay, which one is it, and where are you?” he demanded.

            In the pale moonlight, there was movement, and once he listened for it, a faint scratching. A shower of flaxen hair moved slightly as a person shifted in their chair, ignoring him, focusing on a sketchbook in their hands.

            “Oh, it’s you,” Vanitas said, dismissively. He’d heard a bit about her, from Aqua’s sleeptalking and around the Tower. He grinned. Walking all over her should be easy. “I hear you’re a _witch_.”

            Naminé didn’t so much as turn her head. “I hear you’re a narcissist.”

            And just like that he was off balance again. “What?”

            She still didn’t look at him, putting the finishing touches on what looked like a drawing of the Tower. “Your name. ‘Vanitas’. It’s the root of our word ‘vanity’.”

            “It means ‘emptiness’,” Vanitas said, frowning.

            “It can mean that, too, yes,” Naminé said, still focusing on the book in her hand. She flipped to a new page and started sketching something else. “Are you empty, Vanitas?”

            What kind of question was that? Of course he wasn’t, he couldn’t produce Unversed anymore. The anger and confusion and fear was swirling inside him without a release, though he’d stomach it until he was away and could figure out what was wrong with him.

            “Of course not,” he said. “But I’m not a… what was that word you said?”

            “‘Narcissist’. It means someone who loves themselves. To an unhealthy extent.”

            Vanitas laughed. There was no humour in it. There couldn’t be. “I don’t love _anything_ , let alone myself. I _can’t_ , with this half of a heart.”

            “Now, you shouldn’t underestimate the power of love,” Naminé said with what Vanitas was sure was a smirk on her face. “It’s a curious thing.”

            He cut her off. “You’re not listening, _idiot_. I _can’t_. I can’t _feel_ love. Or happiness, or satisfaction, or anything you’d call a ‘positive’ emotion. Never have, never will.”

            “So you hate yourself?”

            This girl had a peculiar and annoying talent for non sequiturs. “What the fuck are you _talking_ about?”

            It was getting more and more frustrating the way she simply refused to look at him. “You aren’t as complicated as you might think you are. Pretty much every word you say to Aqua is designed to purposefully piss her off. Aqua being the only one of us who was actively okay with letting you die. You’re living in a powder keg and intentionally giving off sparks, so there’s two possibilities. Either you actually want to die, which is concerning but to me, understandable. Or you’re just trying to make as many people as possible feel worse than you do, because that’s the only relief you can get, and Aqua’s just the easiest target. Whichever one it is, we can help you, but you have to do something for us first.”

            “Oh? And what’s that?” Vanitas asked, sarcastic, crossing his arms and tilting his head.

            Finally, finally, Naminé turned to look at him, and to his massive annoyance, smiled at him. “Turn around, bright eyes. We can’t help you unless you ask us to, and you can’t ask us to help if you leave.”

            “Again with this,” Vanitas hissed. “What is wrong with all of you? I don’t need _help!_ There’s nothing _wrong_ with me!” This was objectively a lie, but he had no reason to admit to it.

            “You can’t feel happiness, that’s definitely something wrong,” Naminé pointed out.

            “I’ve always been like that! Since I came into being!”

            Naminé took a deep breath. “Do you know what a Nobody is?”

            “If you swap the subject one more time, I swear to the Void I’m going to stab you,” Vanitas hissed.

            “I’m sure that’d be easy for you,” Naminé said, drily, “when you can’t even summon your Keyblade without having a panic attack.”

            “Please! I don’t need a Keyblade to–”

            There was a chime, and suddenly the girl was holding a Keyblade pointed at his throat. “I don’t _want_ to see you try, but it wouldn’t end well for you at the moment if you did. Believe me.” There was a cold conviction in her voice that stunned him into silence. “Now, Nobodies,” she continued, banishing the Keyblade. “People who are consumed by Darkness become Heartless. If they have a strong enough will, their bodies continue on as Nobodies with no hearts. No hearts, no emotions at all.” His lack of understanding must have shown on his face. “Both Roxas and myself were brought into being as Nobodies. No hearts, no emotions.”

            After his day observing them, he could see the obvious contradiction. He didn’t feel the need to contribute to the discussion.

            “That’s right,” Naminé said as if he had. “We both have emotions now. Even an empty body can grow a healthy heart over time. If we can gain hearts from nothing, surely yours can heal?”

            “No, it _can’t_ ,” Vanitas insisted. “I’m exactly the way I’m _supposed_ to be.”

            This earned him another look. “Vanitas, neither of us was ever _supposed_ to be,” she said, an unreadable expression on her face. “But we _are_. Just like everyone else. No one is _supposed_ to be alone; humans aren’t built for it. Come now, reach out, and embrace your own humanity. You’re a somebody. You have potential to be more than what Xehanort intended for you to be. And every day that you are more than his intentions, you’re rubbing his face in it.”

            Something deep within him flickered. He wasn’t supposed to be able to feel hope, or pleasure, or excitement.

            But spite was in no way a _positive_ emotion.

            And spiting the Mas – the old bastard was almost as good as killing him.

            Almost.

            “I don’t need to be here, or help you, to do that, though,” he pointed out.

            “No, you don’t,” Naminé agreed. “But, striking out on your own isn’t going to help you in the long run. Hate can never heal you, Vanitas.”

            “And why are you all so _insistent_ that I need help?”

            “Well…” Naminé said, finishing her new drawing with a flourish. She held it up. “Let’s just say I have a sense for these things.”

            It was Vanitas’s face in black and white, snarling at the viewer. It was an excellent likeness, but below it, there was a reflection, rippled as though seen in a pond. It was also Vanitas’s face, but instead of snarling in anger, it was scrunched up in agony, tears running down it.

            Vanitas recoiled. “What the hell is that?”

            Naminé shrugged. “The last remains of the power I once had over memories. You would know what it means better than I do, but it’s how I know. There’s more to you than the face you put forth.”

            “I..!”

            “You need a safe environment to explore that in. The Tower can be that, if you let it.” Naminé smiled, and this time, there was a sadness to it. “But you need to let people in. It’s hard, I know, from my own experience. But from that experience, I can also tell you, it’s the most worthwhile thing you can do.”

            Vanitas’s pulse was pounding in his ears. “…I’m done having this conversation,” he said. With that, he turned, and went back into the Tower. Anything to avoid the mysterious girl, and her enigmatic smile.

            Her words, unfortunately, were not so easy to escape.

 

 

            “Well, how did it go?”

            “I’m reasonably sure the reason why he didn’t want to change, Aqua, is because he didn’t realize he _could_.”

            “That’s not going to make me forgive what he did.”

            “I wasn’t expecting it to. He didn’t leave.”

            “He might just be scared of me.”

            “Not more than Xehanort, Lea.”

            “Cut me _some_ slack, Kairi.”

            “Never.”

            “I think I confused him.”

            “Confused him how?”

            “Like I said, he didn’t seem to think he could change. That he can be something, someone, other than what he was expected to be. I agree, Kairi, I kind of pity him.”

            “ _Why?!_ ”

            “Because I used to _be_ him, Aqua.”

            “…”

            “…”

            “…oh. …I’m sorry.”

            “It’s okay.”

            “…I should talk to him!”

            “Huh?”

            “Well, you’re saying, Naminé, that he’s lost. And with all due respect, Lea, you did well with Roxas and Xion, but this is a different case. And I’ve got more experience with teenagers.”

            “…I’m not going to dispute that.”

            “Do you really think he’s going to listen to _you_ of all people?”

            “At this point, if what Naminé thinks is true? He just might!”

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Vanitas" is also a Dutch painting movement that juxtaposed beauty with morbidity; for example, a bouquet of flowers placed next to a human skull.   
> Lea was supposed to be the one to say that Van was "living in a powder keg and giving off sparks" (I really need you tonight! forever's gonna start tonight!), but like I said he decided to do what _he_ wanted to fulfill what I wanted him to do. So Naminé gets the line instead. This is one of four song references that Naminé makes in this chapter. Can you identify them all? (To be fair, one is the English translation of a song that's usually in Japanese, so don't feel bad if you don't recognize it.) And of course, I'll just state them if you ask.  
> It's a fun guessing game we have here, but I will be shocked if anyone actually manages to predict who this next person is.   
> See you tomorrow!


	5. The Fifth Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Vanitas learns that it's a small world after all.

            Try as he might, Vanitas couldn’t stop Naminé’s words – not to mention the drawing – from rattling around in his head.

            It was bullshit, is what it was. There was nothing wrong with him!

            Aside from everything that was clearly wrong with him, not being able to summon Unversed, emotions clamouring inside of him for attention, his inability to even so much as look at the eyes on his Keyblade…

            But he didn’t need _help_. Only people who were _weak_ needed help. Like that pathetic weakling _Ventus_.

            _The only time we fought, he beat me_ , said a traitorous thought as it slinked through his mind.

            That didn’t _count_ , because Ventus had had–!

            _Had had what? Go on, finish the sentence,_ his brain whispered.

            …Had had _help_. Had had Aqua and the damn mouse on the outside.

            But that didn’t mean he needed _help_! _Especially_ not from this Tower full of lunatics and weaklings!

            That did it, that was it, he was leaving, and that was final!

            And if he slipped through the shadows on his way to the station rather than confront whoever was waiting for him tonight, well that was _his_ business and no one else’s! It didn’t mean he was weak!

            Or at least that was the plan. It was turned on its head by two things. First, the train was already at the station, door open and waiting.

            Second, there was no one out waiting for him.

            Cautiously, he moved towards the train car. With the theatrics and framing of last night’s debacle, he was prepared for anything.

            He wasn’t prepared for more nothing, which just put him more on edge. Gingerly, he stepped onto the train and took a seat, wondering how to make it move.

            “Well, fancy meetin’ you here!”

            Vanitas didn’t scream, exactly, it was more like a choked gasp, but he did lash out and strike the other person hard enough to knock them off of the seat. He moved as well, rolling into a defensive stance as he got a good look at the… dog?

            “Gawrsh, I guess I shouldn’t’ve snuck up on ya like that,” Goofy said, rubbing his chin when Vanitas had hit him. “Nice ta meet ya, Vanitas, My name’s Goofy!”

            “…No.”

            “Huh?”

            “No, I’m not doing this. Not with a fucking _dog_.”

            “Hey, now I don’t think that language is all that appropriate–”

            “Do I look like I give a shit?” Vanitas demanded. “Now what is it? Are you gonna say ‘Oh, you need help but you need to be a prisoner for us to help you!’? Or is it ‘You can leave but I’ll hunt you for life!’? Or ‘Help us get ourselves killed fighting Xehanort!’? Well? Which is it?!”

            Goofy looked at him quizzically. “Gawrsh, Vanitas, I wasn’t gonna do any of that. I was just gonna show ya how to run the train.”

            After speaking with Naminé he had thought nothing could surprise him anymore, but that threw him for an even larger loop. “…what?” he said, weakly.

            Goofy shrugged. “Well, you need to know how to run it if ya wanna leave, right? Here, I’ll show ya, it’s real simple–”

            “Why are you _helping me?_ ”

            Goofy looked over to him and beamed. “Why not? Now, you need ta–”

            “Why n – Because I’m a prisoner, you moron! Because I’ve spent the past _week_ trying to get out of here and’ve been stopped every time!”

            “The way Naminé tells it, ya went back inside of your own accord last night,” Goofy said.

            “You know what I mean! Why are you just… letting me leave?!”

            Goofy turned back to him again. “Cause like we’ve been tellin’ ya. You’re not a prisoner, Vanitas. If ya wanna leave, we shouldn’t be stopping ya.”

            Vanitas stared at him, too confused to be angry. “And this is, what, a communal decision?”

            Goofy shook his head. “Nope. All me.”

            “ _Why?_ ”

            “’Cause it’s the right thing ta do.”

            Vanitas took a step away from him. “Are you _insane?_ ”

            “No, I’m Goofy! Weren’t ya listenin’?”

            Vanitas continued as if Goofy hadn’t made a dad joke. “You’re fine with letting a _monster_ loose on the worlds again just because it’s ‘the right thing to do’?!”

            Goofy raised an eyebrow. “Vanitas, you’re not a monster. Trust me. I’m the captain of Disney Castle’s guard. I’ve seen real monsters, the kind you wouldn’t dream of even in your worst nightmares. Right now, you’re just a scared kid. And I’ve got some experience with those.”

            “ _I’m not a kid!_ ”

            Goofy raised his hands, soothingly. “Aw, I’m sorry. You’re right, sixteen isn’t really a kid, now is it? I misspoke. But, I don’t think you’re a danger to the worlds. You just want to get away from Xehanort.”

            Vanitas narrowed his eyes. “…yes,” he confirmed, suspicious.

            “So I’ve got no reason ta believe you’re gonna do anything bad. ‘Specially because it’d make it easier for Xehanort to find ya if ya did.” Vanitas flinched. He was right. “And while I agree that you’re probably not in the best place mentally after all you’ve been through, ya aren’t going to be able to heal if ya see this place as a prison. And, while it would be nice to have ya on our side, you don’t like us, and you’re clearly afraid of Xehanort – with good reason,” he added, seeing the objection soaked in bluster on Vanitas’s face, “I ain’t gonna dispute that – so we can’t ask ya to risk yourself in good conscience. So, all that being the case, we’ve got no reason to keep you here if ya wanna leave. And I’d say, ya clearly wanna leave.” Goofy smiled, a little sheepishly. “So, I’m not gonna stand in your way. You’re free to go.”

            Vanitas was silent for a minute, absorbing this. “I don’t trust you,” he said, accusing.

            Goofy shrugged. “I don’t blame ya. But it is what it is. If you really do want to leave, I’m not gonna stop ya, and I’m not gonna chase ya.”

            “Uh-huh. And this is where you tell me why I should stay?” Vanitas asked, mocking.

            “No, I think you pretty well covered that,” Goofy said. “But I do have something else to tell ya.”

            “And what’s that?”

            “You’re allowed to come back if ya change your mind.”

            Vanitas, as was becoming par for the course, was stunned into silence. “…what did you say?”

            “I said, if you change your mind, about helpin’ us with Xehanort, or even just about wanting to not be here anymore, you can come back even if ya leave.”

            Vanitas scoffed. “Right, so if I decide I _do_ have a death wish and want to fight the – fight Xehanort after all–”

            “Or, even if ya don’t,” Goofy said, gently. “You can still make this place your home, even if you don’t want to fight. We aren’t gonna make ya.”

            Vanitas blinked. “Why would you want to keep me around if I’m no use to you?”

            There was a sad look in Goofy’s eyes, upon hearing that. Vanitas didn’t understand why. “Because,” he said, slowly, “It’s the–”

            “The ‘right thing to do’?” Vanitas interrupted. “Whatever.” For some reason he didn’t quite understand himself, he didn’t move towards the train’s controls.

            Goofy raised a hand, then seemed to think better of it, and put it back down at his side. “Or, if ya don’t want to come back here, come to Disney Town! We’ll have a place for ya.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, laminated card. “Here, you’ll need this pass. Once ya get there, just ask for Max Goof; he’s my son. Just let him know I sent ya!”

            Vanitas knocked his proffering hand away. “Not interested. Why would I want to go to that garish, saccharine hellscape?”

            “Well, ‘cause everyone needs a place to call home,” Goofy said. “Otherwise you’re just runnin’ forever, and that ain’t no way to live if ya don’t have to.”

            “And if I want to?” Vanitas countered, smugly.

            “…Ya don’t,” Goofy said, simply. “You’re runnin’ out of fear, not wanderlust. No shame in it. But it can’t last. Ya need a place you can feel safe, sort out the stuff that’s botherin’ ya. You’ve got two options here, before ya even start lookin’ for one yourself. But, that’s up to you!”

            A muscle worked in Vanitas’s jaw. He looked at the train car’s controls, then back at Goofy in the doorway and the Tower behind him.

            “…Fuck this,” he said. “I am not running in _fear_. I’m not some _weakling_ , and I don’t need your _coddling_.” He pushed past Goofy and headed towards the Tower.

            Goofy cocked an eyebrow. “So, ya wanna stay?” he asked, a hopeful note in his voice.

            “No!” Vanitas shouted. “But I’m not leaving when there’s a _witness!_ ” With that, he stormed into the Tower.

            Goofy stood there for a moment, pondering. “Gee, I wonder how much of that is bluster, and how much is serious?” he asked himself. He raised his arms and stretched, and noticed something odd.

            He reached into the pocket where he’d put the rejected Disney Town pass, and found it empty. Vanitas had picked his pocket as he’d walked past. “Well,” Goofy said, smiling. “Looks like ya do want someplace to call home, after all.”

 

 

            “ _YOU ALMOST LET HIM ESCAPE?!_ ”

            “Aw, Aqua, he’s not a prisoner! He’s a guest, and he’s got a right to leave if he wants ta!”

            “Yeah, Aqua, at this point I’d say it’s pretty clear he’s not a threat. Even if he’s more scared of Xehanort than me.”

            “Well, that’s just common sense.”

            “Kairi, I have murdered people.”

            “So has Xehanort. You’ve never abused a child.”

            “Uh…”

            “Axel was by far the least abusive of the Organization members who interacted with me, Kairi. None of my scars are from _his_ boots.”

            “Well, I mean there was still the emotional manipulation…”

            “Which I’ve forgiven you for, because it led to me taking a stand. We’re good, Lea. You’re my friend now.”

            “…thanks, Nam.”

            “All well and good, but what are we going to do about Vanitas? If he decides to just up and leave–”

            “Well, I gave him the opportunity, and he didn’t take it. But, I also offered him a home. Don’t think he’s ever had one of those before.”

            “Without helping us with Xehanort?”

            “Gawrsh, Kairi, I think he’s been put through enough because of Xehanort already, don’tcha agree? I mean, I know we’ve all heard the way he stumbles over the name.”

            “Keeps starting to say ‘The Master’ instead. Good point, the kid’s clearly trying to cut ties. And having a hard time of it. So you said, what, exactly?”

            “That he doesn’t have to fight alongside us to consider this place his home.”

            “And he stayed because of that?”

            “That, I don’t know. He seemed more confused than anythin’. But, I also offered him a place with us in Disney Town, and he did wind up taking the pass. In a roundabout manner o’ speakin’.”

            “So at least he’ll be in a place we can watch him.”

            “At least until we’re all satisfied he doesn’t _need_ watching.”

            “I’m not having this argument, Naminé.”

            “Then stop trying to start it, Aqua.”

            “…”

            “…”

            “…”

            “…So, we’ve established that he’s not going to start shit if we let him go, but despite his repeated attempts to leave he doesn’t seem fully committed to leaving. Where do we go from here?”

            “Gawrsh, I think that depends on him. Remember he still thinks we can’t possibly stand up to Xehanort. If only there was some way ta change his mind.”

            “…Well, we’re not gonna make any headway banging our heads on the wall like this. I’m gonna get some sleep.”

            “Lea’s right. It’s late, we can talk more on this in the morning.”

            “Night, all.”

            “Goodnight.”

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, colour me shocked. I guess I wasn't giving all of you enough credit.   
> I love Goofy as a responsible guardian. I've never seen Goof Troop or any of the movies, but it being Kingdom Hearts makes me feel that I can write him straightforwardly as a parental figure.   
> Like I've said before, Vanitas knows how to deal with threats, and with violence. But present him with honest, genuine kindness? Poor kid is completely out of his depth.   
> At this point it was kind of getting ridiculous having five (and if I hadn't decided to change things up, six) people to keep track of without any distinction between who is talking. So, try and guess the next person without any clues whatsoever. (This is not actually a challenge. You are not required to guess. Though process of elimination will serve you well here.)  
> And I should probably talk about that one line that might have brought you up short. Remember back in LoO, in the first (non-prologue) chapter, where Naminé recognizes Xehanort's boots and won't explain why when Aqua asks?   
> This is what I was trying to imply. Larxene had a lot to answer for. I have a bad habit of stating something in a subtle way, then coming back to it in a much less subtle way if nobody seems to have picked up on it.   
> Two days left! See you tomorrow!


	6. The Sixth Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Vanitas realizes that he might get schooled.

            Home.

            If he’d had one, before the amnesia – before Xehanort – he’d forgotten it.

            _If Ventus had one before_ , the traitorous voice whispered. He didn’t bother to retort. It was his own voice, after all.

            No, he was too focused on his contemplation of the term to school his thoughts back into a sane order.

            Home.

            He didn’t want one. _He’d never had one._ What could he want from a home? _People who wanted him around just because._

            Well, the Tower wasn’t a home, then. Aqua still wanted to kill him. And he wasn’t going to change who he was to appease _anyone_ , let alone the sanctimonious bleeding heart.

            He looked down at the plastic card in his hand. He’d managed to sneak into Disney Town twelve years previously, to spread his Unversed. He doubted it had changed much. Still teeth-rottingly banal.

            But peaceful.

            And the mouse’s home world. So, likely on the M – Xehanort’s hit list. Fat chance he’d go there to escape.

            But, there was a small feeling inside of him, so small he almost didn’t catch it. Whatever it was, he couldn’t identify it, but it seemed to be linked to the fact that this time, if he did go to Disney Town, he wouldn’t have to sneak in.

            He’d actually been _invited_.

            He shook himself. A pointless distraction. He still had to leave. He tossed the pass on the bed and looked at the door. Despite himself, he couldn’t help but realize something.

            If he wasn’t, and had never been a prisoner, then why was the door closed? It wasn’t to keep him in, it was never locked, so…

            _Was it to keep others out?_

            Privacy, as a concept, was foreign to him. The only things that were his were in his head, or carefully hidden in secret places. That was how it had always been. He was a tool for forging the χ–blade, nothing else. That was what his Master had required of him. That was what he was kept around for.

            That was what he’d failed at, not that he’d intended on turning the χ–blade over once he had it. If it was as powerful as Xehanort claimed, and if such a powerful Keyblade Master needed it, surely even Xehanort couldn’t stand against its power?

            But it hadn’t worked. He’d failed. And from the sound of it, Xehanort had discovered another method of forging the χ–blade, though he hadn’t heard any details on exactly _how_.

            No one needed him.

            _And yet the dog captain wanted me to stay around anyway_.

            Vanitas growled, and stood up. He was getting nowhere chasing his thoughts in a circle like this. It was time to leave, for real this time.

 

 

            The train was still there, waiting for him, and no one else seemed to be around. He had almost made it across the grounds when he heard the Tower door open.

            “What now?” he demanded, looking back.

            Looking out at him from the doorway was Riku, looking just as surprised to see Vanitas as Vanitas was to see him.

            “Oh, did you decide to leave?” Riku asked, sheepishly. “Sorry, I know you didn’t want anyone to see you off. I can go back inside, if you’d like?”

            “You’re… not here to stop me?” Vanitas asked, confused.

            “No, I, uh… have trouble sleeping, sometimes. I was taking a walk,” Riku admitted. “But, if you want me to try to convince you to stay..?”

            “Save it,” Vanitas said, turning back to the train. “I’ve made up my mind. This place is doomed, as soon as Xehanort realizes where you are. So I’m getting out now. No, I’m not going to help you. No, I’m not going to beg you for help I don’t need. No, I don’t want a _home_. Goodbye.”

            “Why are you so sure we’re doomed?” Riku asked.

            Vanitas turned back around and threw up his hands. “Because it’s fucking _Xehanort!_ ” he yelled. “Why can none of you get this through your heads?! You can’t _fight him!_ He always wins!”

            “He didn’t win twelve years ago,” Riku pointed out.

            “Because I fucked up!” Vanitas argued. “If I hadn’t lost to that _weakling_ , Aqua, and the damn rodent–!”

            “Xehanort lost to Aqua, too,” Riku put in.

            That brought him up short. “The fuck did you just say?”

            “After you and Ven lost consciousness, Aqua tracked Xehanort down, trying to get Terra’s body back,” Riku explained. “They fought. Aqua won, but she couldn’t separate him from Terra, so she sacrificed herself to stop him from dragging Terra with him into the Realm of Darkness. She also gave him amnesia. He didn’t know he was a Keyblade Master until just recently.”

            That was impossible. But, then again, Aqua didn’t manage to finish the job, which made sense.

            Riku wasn’t done. “After that, he got split into a Heartless and a Nobody. Sora killed his Heartless, and he and I killed his Nobody together. So the original Xehanort is back, and we’re fighting him, now, but this time, he should go down permanently.”

            “I’m sorry, did you say the grinning baboon killed someone?” Vanitas demanded.

            Riku arched an eyebrow, offended on his boyfriend’s behalf, no doubt. “Sora’s killed more people than you have, Vanitas. So have I. You do realize Xehanort isn’t special; you’ve never succeeded in killing _anyone_.”

            “Oh, sorry, are you trying to convince me to stay, or to try killing you next?” Vanitas demanded. “Because all you’re doing is making me angry.”

            “You couldn’t beat me if you tried,” Riku said, calmly. “Still can’t summon your Keyblade, right?”

            Vanitas scoffed. “Like I need a Keyblade to beat a light-blind do-gooder like you!” With that, he sank into the shadows and rushed towards Riku, planning on leaping out from behind him and trying to get him in a chokehold.

            What he hadn’t expected was to be hoisted out of the ground the second he came into contact with Riku’s shadow.

            Shocked and confused, he saw Riku, holding a hand up calmly, as tendrils of darkness leaked out of his shoes and across to where Vanitas rested, suspended. The bastard hadn’t even summoned his Keyblade. “No, I really think you do,” Riku deadpanned, clearly amused.

            “How the _fuck_ did you do that?!” Vanitas demanded. “That’s _darkness!_ ”

            “Yes, it is,” Riku agreed. “ _My_ darkness. I’m going to put you down, now. Can we talk like normal people about this?”

            Sullenly, Vanitas nodded. “All right,” Riku said, and gently lowered Vanitas to the ground.

            “You. Darkness. How.” Vanitas spat.

            Riku looked down at his hand. “Because I was trained, at least initially, by Xehanort’s Heartless, to use the Darkness. It took me a long time, and a lot of second chances, to learn how to use only my own darkness, in balance with my light.”

            “That’s not how it works, _idiot!_ You can’t _control_ Darkness, only _channel_ –”

            “That’s Xehanort talking,” Riku replied, mildly. “And I think we both agree, fuck that guy.”

            Vanitas’s mouth snapped shut. He wasn’t going to give Riku the satisfaction of knowing he agreed.

            “I can control my darkness. Not using the methods he taught me, using my own.” Riku said.

            “And they just… accept you, just like that? Darkness is supposed to be their _enemy!_ ”

            Riku shrugged. “From what I understand, Aqua and Ven’s master was just as militant about the Light as Xehanort is about the Darkness. And none of us newer Keybearers were raised in that strict dichotomy. It’s definitely dangerous, I won’t deny that. But personal darkness isn’t inherently evil. They trust me; more than I trust myself, if I’m being honest.”

            “They’re idiots,” Vanitas scoffed.

            “…Some of them, maybe,” Riku said. “But sometimes we need that sort of innocence. If we don’t stop Xehanort, no one will. And yeah, maybe we have to be idiots to think that’s possible. But… he’s not as invincible as you seem to think he is. And you’re not under his thumb anymore.”

            Vanitas clenched his jaw, looking away.

            “Besides,” Riku added, with the ghost of a smile, “If _Aqua_ and _Sora_ can fight Xehanort and survive – even _win_ – then why are you so sure _you_ can’t?”

            Vanitas ground his teeth together. The answer was, of course, that he just couldn’t win against the Master, but…

            “No, you don’t have to answer, I think I get it,” Riku said, quietly. “You don’t think you can now, because you couldn’t then.” He sighed. “I don’t think any less of you for that, if it makes you feel better.”

            “Nothing makes me feel good,” Vanitas snapped.

            “I didn’t say good, I said _better_ ,” Riku said, just as patient. “There’s a world of difference.” He quieted for a second, and Vanitas could have taken this opportunity to leave, but for some reason he didn’t quite understand, he didn’t.

            “…You know, if you do want to stay, we could… teach you,” Riku said, slowly.

            “ _What?!_ ”

            Riku shrugged. “If you’re afraid of Xehanort because you don’t think you can stand up to him, we can help you get stronger. You aren’t our enemy, Vanitas, no matter where you came from. Not wanting to help us doesn’t mean you actively want to hurt us. You could’ve hurt us plenty before we found you, if you did.”

            Vanitas laughed. “Like you could get _Aqua_ to agree to teach _me!_ ”

            “I didn’t say anything about Aqua,” Riku said. “She’s not the only Keyblade Master in this Tower. This is an offer… that _I’m_ making.”

            Vanitas stared. “…You’d teach me?”

            Riku shrugged. “I’m a Keyblade Master. According to Yen Sid. And I’m the only Keyblade Master who could give you instruction in controlling your own darkness properly, without hurting yourself. You’d get stronger, and then…”

            “And then?”

            “You wouldn’t have to be afraid of Xehanort anymore,” Riku said, simply.

            “…And how do you know I won’t just take what you teach me and use it to kill all of you?” Vanitas sneered.

            Riku shrugged. “I don’t. I’m taking a gamble that Sora, Ven, and Naminé are right about you. That you can be more than what you have been. That by the time you master what I have to teach you, you won’t _want_ to kill us, or anyone else, anymore.”

            Vanitas stared at him, lost. “…I’ll think about it,” he said, slowly.

            “Huh?” Riku asked; what, had he thought he wouldn’t get anywhere?

            Vanitas knew a good offer when he heard it. And clearly, Riku was stronger than he appeared; especially if he’d helped kill Xehanort’s ‘Nobody’ or whatever.

            There was no harm in using him to get stronger, even if it meant staying in the damn Tower.

            “I said I’ll think about it. Fuck off.”

            Riku tilted his head. “I think what you meant was, ‘Good night.’”

            Vanitas rolled his eyes. “No, no, I meant ‘fuck off.’” With that, he pushed past Riku and entered the tower, going back up to his room.

            _His_ room.

            The room that… belonged to him.

            The room that… was his space.

            He looked again at the Disney Town passport on his bed ( _his_ bed).

            “Home?” he muttered to himself. “Don’t need one.”

            But… there wasn’t harm in abusing their odd charity, right?

            He groaned, the reasons to stay and the reasons to leave fighting in his head, making it hurt.

            One more try, he decided. He’d try to leave one more time, and depending on who came to stop him…

            Well. He’d burn that bridge when he got to it.

 

 

            “He’s staying. I think.”

            “Aw, see, you can be inspiring when you put your mind to it!”

            “Oh, quiet, you.”

            “Never!”

            “She’s right, Riku! You’re great!”

            “All right! All right! He’s staying, but I don’t think he wants to fight against Xehanort with us.”

            “Yeah, that makes sense. He’s scared.”

            “I can’t imagine what he’s been through! Even if he doesn’t wind up a good person, I’m still glad he got out.”

            “Yeah, but that’s why he’s so hesitant to fight. He doesn’t want to get brought back in again.”

            “Then I think… we’re gonna need the big guns. All or nothing. The final nail in the coffin.”

            “Kairi, you’re getting a little morbid.”

            “Oh, shush, you know what I mean, Riku!”

            “I do.”

            “…uh, guys? I don’t.”

            “I mean _you_ , silly!”

            “Me?!”

            “Of course. If anyone can convince him to have hope, it’d be you. You did wonders for me.”

            “D’awwwww.”

            “Oh, shut up.”

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It should be pretty obvious who the last person is, right?  
> You see why I brought up the possibility of Riku teaching people to control their darkness? It's not just Terra that needs it.   
> Riku and Vanitas is a relationship that interests me. Not because Van looks like Sora, but because they're both Xehanort's apprentices. (By means of Ansem, in Riku's case.) The idea of there being some kind of connection there intrigues me.   
> I think that's about it, see you tomorrow for the last chapter!


	7. The Seventh Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Vanitas looks at the man in the mirror, and gets asked to change his ways.

            Vanitas stood up from the bed (his bed) _the_ _bed_ and stretched. Last chance.

            Last chance to get away, or last chance to come up with a reason to stay?

            He shook himself. Xehanort. Going to kill them all. No reason to get caught up in the crossfire if he didn’t have to.

            He looked around the (his) _the_ room. It was small, but there was room enough for a comfortable twin bed, a sturdy desk and chair, a lamp that wasn’t too bright, and a small dresser and closet for spare clothes he didn’t have.

            _And apparently, it was his_.

            He couldn’t keep it. He had no reason to keep it. _Other than wanting to keep it_. Wanting something like that would get him killed when Xehanort came knocking. He couldn’t afford _wants_. He had to focus on his _needs_ , and right now, he needed to get away to someplace Xehanort couldn’t find him.

            It was a gilded cage he was being offered, but it was still a cage.

            And he would die in it if he stayed.

            No matter what he could learn from the others, how strong he could become, it wouldn’t matter a thing against Xehanort.

            _Even if I get strong enough to kill him?_

            That thought brought him up short. Impossible, no one could kill the –

            _Aqua could have if she wasn’t too cowardly to strike the final blow,_ he thought, rebelliously. _Riku actually did, this Sora did. Twice_.

            The fact that twice hadn’t seemed to be enough to stop him was worrying in and of itself.

            He. Was not. Running away in fear. It was _common sense_. Nobody could stand against –

            _They. Had. It COULD be done._

            He looked down at his hand, and clenched it into a fist, until it shook.

            He thought of revenge.

            He thought of spite.

            He thought of the old man broken in the dirt before him.

            …He thought of the punishment he’d receive when he failed.

            “…I have to leave,” he said, out loud.

 

 

            He made his way out to the station, resolute, but a little saddened, and not understanding _why_. It was another emotion on the pile that he still felt roiling within him, though he maintained his iron control.

            It was getting harder. The sooner he figured out why he couldn’t release Unversed anymore, the better.

            Another reason to leave. They wouldn’t want him to be letting his emotions loose like that, creating monsters again.

            He wondered if _Ventus_ had ever realized that destroying them hurt him, had pieced it together. Maybe he had, maybe he hadn’t. Either way, better to leave than to let Aqua find out.

            He didn’t know why that thought hurt, either.

            It wouldn’t have taken a master of stealth to sneak up on him this time, so engrossed was he in his own thoughts.

            “Hey, Vanitas! Nice to meet you!”

            Nor, indeed, was it a master of stealth who caught him by surprise.

            “Gah!”

            He jerked backward in surprise as his own face leered at him.

            “I’ve been wondering, do you mind if I call you Van? I mean, Ventus shortens his name to Ven, so–”

            “What the fuck are you doing here?!” Vanitas shouted.

            Sora tilted his head, confused. “Uh, I live here, same as you?”

            “That’s not what I–” Vanitas cut himself off, growling. This was pointless, he was leaving, he couldn’t get drawn into the moron’s tempo like he had the previous nights.

            “Oh, you meant why am I talking to you! Well, I’m giving you the offer again! Stay here, train with us, and help us stop Xehanort!”

            “…No!”

            “Aw, why not?”

            “Are you some kind of–” Vanitas cut himself off again, because yes, he already knew that Sora was some kind of idiot. “Because I don’t want to die when he kills all of you, duh!”

            “What makes you think he’s going to kill all of us?” Sora asked. “He’s kind of got a bad track record so far. He’s in the negatives, even!”

            “Give him time.”

            “Come on, Van! It’s not like–”

            _“Don’t. Fucking. Call. Me. That._ ”

            “Huh? Why not?”

            “Because I’m not fucking _Ventus_ , that’s why not! I didn’t give you permission to mutilate my name!”

            “Oh, I’m sorry,” Sora said. To Vanitas’s fury, he appeared to genuinely mean it. There was something infuriating about seeing contrition on that face.

            On his face.

            “Get away from me,” he snarled. “I don’t want to talk to the bastard who stole my face.”

            “Your face?” Sora asked, affronted. “Hey, this is the face I was born with. If anything, you took _mine_.”

            “Whatever,” he grumbled. “No, I’m not staying. Trying to kill Xehanort is a fool’s errand.”

            Sora tapped his chin with finger. “Well, you’re the one who keeps calling us all idiots…” he said, meaningfully.

            “That’s not what that means!”

            Sora shrugged. “Still doesn’t mean it’s hopeless.”

            Vanitas stared at him. “If you start into some saccharine speech about the power of friendship I swear to the Void I’ll rip your throat out with my teeth.”

            “Hey! You shouldn’t discount friendship! We wouldn’t have beaten Ansem and Xemnas without it!” Sora protested.

            “Who?”

            “Xehanort’s Heartless and Nobody,” he clarified.

            Vanitas looked away. “So he wasn’t making it up,” he murmured, but Sora heard it anyway.

            “Who, Riku? No, he doesn’t make things up like that,” Sora said. Vanitas shook his head.

            “You still don’t get it, do you?” he said. “You beat _parts_ of Xehanort. His body, and his heart. Both amnesiac, both without Keyblades, separately. What makes you think you have a ghost of a chance against him at the height of his strength?” To his private irritation, he didn’t have the energy to put any venom in the question. He just sounded tired.

            He hated it. Hated himself for it.

            He hated feeling _weak_.

            Sora’s smile slowly faded. “That’s not the point.”

            Vanitas frowned. “What isn’t?”

            “It’s not that we think we can beat him,” Sora said. “Honestly, we don’t know if we can or not. But, that doesn’t matter.”

            Vanitas’s mouth dropped open. “What do you mean it doesn’t _matter?!_ If you don’t kill him, he’s going to–!”

            “If we don’t beat him,” Sora interrupted calmly, “People are going to die. My friends are going to die. Entire worlds are going to die. But, even before all of that, Kairi and Riku are going to die. Mickey, Donald, and Goofy are going to die. Roxas and Xion are going to die. Naminé, and Lea, and Aqua, and Ven, and Terra if we manage to get him back, are all going to die. Because we’re the people there, fighting him. We’re first in line. But we’re going to fight anyway.”

            “ _WHY?!_ ” Vanitas shouted. “If you’re going to die when you lose, then why fight him?! Why not get as far away as you can?!”

            “Because there’s nowhere to run _to!_ ” Sora said, matching his tone. “The first Keyblade War shattered the world, this one’s definitely gonna reach everywhere! There isn’t a safe place to run _to!_ The only chance we have – the only thing we can do, is fight! Because if we don’t, everything we care about is going to die!” He took a deep breath, lowering his voice. “If we fight, we have a chance of stopping him. If we don’t fight, there’s _no_ chance. And… yeah. We might not all survive.” He smiled, ruefully. “I think we all know that. But, the alternative – everything we care about dying instead – well, we all think that’s worse. That’s ‘why’, Vanitas. Not because we think we can win, but because we know we can’t afford to lose.”

            Vanitas stared at him, considering his words despite his better judgement. “Good for you,” he said, coldly. “But all I have to lose is my life. I’ve done that once, and it’s not fun.”

            Sora shook his head. “You just don’t listen, huh? If we don’t beat him, nowhere is safe. You’ll still die, maybe just a while after the rest of us.”

            “And what’s the alternative?” Vanitas asked, sarcastically.

            Sora took a deep breath. “You know more about Xehanort than all the rest of us. You might not know his plans, but you do know how he thinks, and how he fights, better than anyone else. We’re not going to make you fight, if you don’t want to. But, if you stay and help us, we have a better chance of beating him.” A sly look crossed Sora’s face, but Vanitas missed it entirely. “And if we do, then that would mean we beat him because you helped us.”

            Vanitas fell silent, pondering this.

            “Think about it this way,” Sora said, smiling again. “Like you said yourself, we beat his heart and body. Maybe what you know about him can make up the difference!”

            Vanitas was miles away.

            It had been done. Xehanort, or at least versions of him, had been killed.

            By these idiots.

            A feeling he was completely unused to awakened in his chest. No, that wasn’t true, he had experienced it before. Back when Xehanort had first pontificated about the power of the χ–blade, and he’d realized that it might make him strong enough to kill his master.

            It was wrong. He wasn’t supposed to be able to _feel_ hope, but…

            If he stayed…

            If he could _learn_ …

            If he could _kill_ …

            No. They wouldn’t trust him with something like that, even if he agreed to fight alongside them. He’d probably get stuck fighting some useless lackey or another – was the guy with the crossbows still kicking? That asshole was probably still working for _him_.

            No, he wouldn’t be trusted to fight Xehanort. Not in a way that would matter to him.

            Sora, predictably, was still prattling on.

            “… and I get that you don’t like us, or friendship, but there’s strength in numbers, you know? The more of us, the better the odds! And yeah, Xehanort wants his seven and thirteen, but who cares? Why should we fight by his rules? _We_ don’t want to forge the χ–blade!”

            “His what?” Vanitas asked, absently.

            Sora rolled his eyes. “So, if I understand right, the first χ–blade shattered into twenty pieces, thirteen of darkness and seven of light. And Xehanort thinks that if he makes seven lights and thirteen darknesses fight, like he tried with you and Ven, it’ll forge the real χ–blade again. Which is why he’s been putting his heart, or pieces of it or something, into other people, so there’s thirteen of him… it’s really confusing.”

            Still absently, not looking at him, Vanitas reached out and seized Sora by the front of his shirt. “Whoa, you okay?” Sora asked, but Vanitas silently pulled him until their faces were inches away.

            “What… was that last part?” he said, quietly.

            “I asked if you were…” Sora trailed off at the look on Vanitas’s face. “Uh… Xehanort made thirteen of himself as part of his plan to forge the χ–blade?”

            Vanitas took a deep breath in, and exhaled. Still holding tightly to Sora’s shirt, he turned towards the Tower and walked back towards it, dragging Sora behind him.

            “Uh, where are we going?” Sora asked, but Vanitas ignored him. Awkwardly, he dragged Sora up the staircase, heading steadily towards the top of the Tower.

            He stopped before the door of Yen Sid’s study, and took another deep breath, letting go of Sora’s shirt. He walked up to the door and paused as if to knock, instead rearing back and kicking it hard enough to pop it open.

            On the other side, Yen Sid and Aqua looked up from a shared pot of tea, in confusion. Vanitas stalked into the room, completely ignoring Aqua, and slammed his fists down on Yen Sid’s desk, locking eyes with the sorcerer.

            “I’ve been alive again for a week,” he said, quietly. “In that time, I have been punched in the face, tranquilized by magic, threatened with pursuit predation, psychoanalyzed by an _artist_ , offered a _home_ I don’t _need_ , offered lessons in controlling _darkness_ by an emo kid, and only tonight, only _tonight_ does it come out that there’s _thirteen_ Xehanorts now. _Thirteen._ ”

            Yen Sid opened his mouth, but Vanitas held up a finger.

            “I didn’t think it was possible, to kill him. Who could kill the Master? I certainly couldn’t. That was a shock, finding out pieces of him have been killed before, by _this_ moron no less,” he said, indicating Sora. “So, I had a thought that, maybe, just maybe, if I agreed, if I played along, maybe _I’d_ get a shot at killing the fucker, too.”

            Aqua looked like she wanted to say something, surprise crossing her face. Vanitas moved his finger from Yen Sid to her.

            “And yet none of you, none of you who tried to _recruit_ me, ever thought to mention that if I joined up, I wouldn’t just get one shot at killing Xehanort. No, I’d be able to kill him _thirteen times over._ ”

            “Uh, eleven, actually,” Sora cut in. “One of his vessels is Terra, and we want to get him and another guy back–”

            “Shshshshshshshshshhhh,” Vanitas said, reaching out with his other hand to clamp Sora’s mouth shut. “Enough out of you. A larger-than-one number of Xehanort dying. A greater chance of me being involved. Not mentioned. At all.”

            “Vanitas,” Yen Sid said, slowly. “Are we to understand that you are here to–?”

            “Against my better judgement, and likely proving I’m just as big an idiot as the rest of you, _yes._ ” Vanitas let go of Sora’s mouth and leaned over the table, staring into Yen Sid’s eyes unflinchingly.

            “ _I’m in._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's coming to dinner...  
> This isn't the end of Vanitas's "redemption" arc (is it a redemption if he's never going to recant or regret the things he did?), it's just the start of it. I have such wonderful plans for the trash child. You'll see.  
> Yes, as you may have noticed from the comments, I'm going with "Van" as opposed to "Vani". Blame Taliax and Cast A Shadow. I like the way it sounds better. It was quite difficult in the run-up to Who You Are In The Dark to never use the nickname for him while discussing him.  
> So with the end of this fic, and the end of the year, comes a progress report. I have two complete fics left to post. But, since they are standalones, we'll be going back to one every two weeks. I have one chapter of the multichapter that follows written, and the second is open and being worked on as I write this. However, seeing as it will be comparable in size to Adjustments, I might not have it completely done two weeks after the second ready fic goes up. I will try to have it done, but I can't make it a promise.  
> Adding to that mix is the fact that Kingdom Hearts III will be out (in North America) the following week. Even if I have the multichapter completely done in time, I may delay posting it until I finish the game. It's not that I don't trust you all not to spoil things, but I'd rather preempt the issue entirely.  
> Of course, that assumes the multichapter will be done by that point; again, that's up in the air. I will do my best, but we can never really predict the future.  
> Thank you for joining me and Vanitas for this week, and I hope yours was better than his was.  
> See you in two weeks!


End file.
